ink

ink is an odd thing, you either like it or you don't.  i got my first tattoo at 18.  it was thumper and it's on my bum.  i didn't want my mom to find it and she didn't for many years, until i showed it to her because she was so smug about me not having one.  i have since gotten 5 more.  thumper was cute.  the butterfly was pretty.  but they didn't mean anything, not really. 

my next one i drew myself.  it is two indian feathers tied together by a leather strap.  in my mind, when i was drawing it, the feathers represented my kids and the leather was my love for them, tying us all together.  i got this one when i was married to satan.  i didn't explain to him the meaning behind it.  he was already jealous enough of my relationship with my kids, which i never understood.  you're supposed to love your kids. 

the next one i got was clearly for my kids.  it is a heart, a little tribal design coming off the heart, and my kids' initials on either side of the design.  this time satan knew the ink was for my kids.  he asked "what about me?"  i told him he could get his own.  i knew good and well that's not what he meant, but at this point i was doing everything i could to get away from him.  yes, it was a 3 year process, but there was no way in hell i was going to put any type of mark on my body that remotely reminded me of him.

a few years later, i wanted one for me, that reflected something of my personality.  i am part cherokee so the feathers reflected that.  i am also part scandinavian and irish.  celtic has always been ingrained in me, so the obvious choice was something that reflected that aspect of my soul.  i found a great trinity knot on the internet that was intertwined with the soul symbol.  however, when i went to get it, i had them tattoo it upside down.  most trinity knots point up and the design had been drawn pointing down. 

if anyone has met mark, they know that he is a wonderful man.  i swore i would never put a man's name on me in ink.  i still haven't, but i did feel strong enough about mark and our relationship that i had an m inked on my right wrist.  to me, it is better than his name because this way i have to explain it to people and i get to tell everyone that asks what a wonderful man i have.

my next piece is the big poppa, the one i have been waiting to get since i walked out of the shop after i got thumper.  if you get one, more than likely you will get more.  ink is addictive.  i really think there is something in the ink that makes you want to come back for more.  it is sort of like a vampire's bite, it hurts, but in a good way.  the pain is a turn on.

it has taken me a long time to finally decide on the big piece and now i just have to save my pennies to get it.  $450 for this one that will be in the middle of my shoulders.  it is going to have to be designed around the kids initials on my shoulder because it will be that wide, but i really want it in the middle.  it is round and it needs that symmetry. 

will it be my last one?  probably not.  will i look crazy as an old woman with faded, stretched ink?  probably.  do I care? absolutely not.  i am one of those ink freaks.  my boy has two and is ready for the next one.  the girl has her eye on a really big owl piece for her first one.  they come by it honest.