dreams

i have the oddest dreams.  at least to me they are odd.  I need to purchase a book about dreams to try and figure out what they mean, if anything. 

i do not have a notepad by the bed to write them down when i wake up.  i have tried that before but i am such a heavy sleeper that I usually don't wake up until the clock goes off. then while i am in the shower i try to remember them. 

i am currently writing 3 books.  all are different genres.  but i do incorporate my dreams into these books.  the ones I can remember that is.

i often dream of one of my ex's.  it isn't because i miss him, or care for him.  quite the opposite is true.  i honestly can say that if he died today i would have absolutely no remorse.  when i dream about him, it is usually about me having to take care of something he screwed up.  it is never that we are back together or still together.  it is always negative.  he had such a negative impact on my life that i doubt i'll ever completely get over him.  it's odd that i only dream of him and not the other ex husband and/or boyfriends.  i try not to have regrets because that is just time wasted.  but if there is a regret in my life it is all the time wasted on him.

i often wake up and wonder why i dream what i dream.  where the hell does it come from.  some of them are so bizarre and out of character for me that it really bothers me that i would even have the subconcious thoughts. people i talk to say not to worry about them, so i try not to.  but still.....

if i could only remember them all and be able to put them into a book, i believe it would be a best seller in the horror genre!